She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
