Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
