he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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