Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
