I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
