Swine flu. Run for my life!
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
