# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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