What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
