Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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