I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
