You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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