I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
