i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
