Already got asked if we're dating
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
