i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
