All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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