...so i touched it.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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