oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
