The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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