Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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