Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
