Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We are two peas in an std pod
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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