There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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