Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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