Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think my moral compass just broke
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
