We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
