ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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