these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
