By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Come on in and take your pants off
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