I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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