I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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