i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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