Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
