while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
