Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
