Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
