he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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