I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
