idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
