And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
