Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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