i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
