My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
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I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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