He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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