That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
