Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
