didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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