He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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