sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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