So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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