I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
