i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
