would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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