Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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