dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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