"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
