we made out on top of his cat.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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