You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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