I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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