Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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