the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Your cock deserves a montage
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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