I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
What a fucking waste of an outfit
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
